Supermarket Game Of The Week - Lime The Chav.

We've all seen them, malingering in the spaghetti 'oops aisle or perhaps around the confectionery section, eyes like government scaremongering posters, expressionless faces adorning their pea sized craniums. The late teen social undesirable, the scally, the CHAV.

Invariably these little fuckers will be rude, generally irritating and just plain in the way whilst undertaking the regular purgatory of navigating a supermarket for the only shit they should be allowed to sell (tinned, frozen and cleaning products).

So, why not turn such tedium and constant battling to repress the fantasy of stoving their heads in with a tin of marrowfat peas into a bit of a laugh?

Simpy acquire a lime from the produce aisle (this is invariably the one by the door to make you think that everything inside the fucking place is fresh) then locate a suitable ner do well in a 'hoodie' (I recommend a small one ideally, makes it easier to deposit the lime and they turn out to be less trouble in the long run) and rather than giving them a Cameron-esque hug, deposit said lime in the hood of their jumper and walk away, smiling, safe in knowledge that at some point the appalling displaced field tiller will put their hood up only to have won the prize of a lime in a competition they didn't know they entered.

10 points per lime successfully deposited without knowledge of the CHAV

If a CHAV catches you depositing said lime, all points forfeit for that shopping session.

Winner takes all.

V.